Science Today

Possibly used as content for an earlier post of the D.S. Show, though I think the commercial may be new. (Joined in progess.) Host: We're back with our guest, Hubert Smiley Jr, whose father invented the first antidepressant. Mister Smiley, where did your father get the idea? Smiley: Dad was fond of science fiction. He read a book about a future society that kept its population happy with miracle drugs and liked it a lot. Host: You mean Brave New World? Smiley: Yes, I think that was it. Host: Mister Smiley, the point of Brave New World was to show the oppressive side of controlling human behavior through science. Smiley: So? Host: So by developing this drug, your father would have deeply offended the author. Smiley: You think so? Oh well, I'm sure it's nothing that can't be cured with the right medication. Commercial: Bottoms of Despair How would you like to suffer from a terrible illness and be laughed at for it? Well, hundreds of victims like myself suffer from cancer of the ass. I'm not talking about rectal cancer here. That thought of that one makes people wince. I'm talking about the whole ass. This punishing disease can make sitting down next to impossible. With an infected cheek swelling up to over four times its normal size, even putting on a pair of briefs can be difficult. Before we can seriously address this problem, we need to all stop laughing about it. And that can only be done through expensive media campaigns. Bottoms of Despair is a non-profit group that wants to sensitize the public to the pains suffered by victims of ass cancer through education. Help us nip this problem in the butt with a donation today. Bottoms of Despair. Your ass may be on the line. Host: Alex Raymond is here to talk about his new invention, a telescopic lens that can see through walls. It is in great demand by both police and the military. Tell us, what gave you the idea? Raymond: Well, I was reading this book about a whole population that was kept under constant electronic surveillance and - Host: You mean 1984? Raymond: Yes, that was it. Host: Mister Raymond, 1984 is a cautionary tale meant to spare us from brutal totalitarianism. Raymond: So? Host: So? I can't believe this! So your invention has seriously undermined his literary efforts! Raymond: Hey, look, I'm not an author, I'm a scientist. Host: You're a menace. Anyway, we're going to try one last time after the break when we speak to a former Swedish tennis star who has invented implants which he says can increase out abilities and help us achieve a collective consciousness.
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© 2007, 2014. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.