Junior Predator

Hart: Good day and welcome to Junior Predator, where young aspiring business persons receive guidance directly from their idols in the industry. I'm your host, Allan Hart. Robbie Barns is twelve years old and wants to start an advertising agency. Good for you, Robbie! We've invited Clarence Ogilvy, the- Barns: (Interrupting) President and founder of the world's second largest advertising firm. Pleased to make your acquaintance, sir. (Robbie extends his hand to Ogilvy who shakes it firmly.) Ogilvy: I see you've done your research. Very impressive. How did one so young get interested in advertising? Wouldn't you rather be a star? Barns: No, sir. When I see celebrities in commercials promoting products, it tells me who really has the power. Ogilvy: That's a most astute observation. So you want power. Barns: Doesn't everyone? Ogilvy: I suppose they do, but not all of them are cut out for advertising. Tell me, what's your favorite cola? Barns: Pepsi. Ogilvy: And if its competitor wanted you to promote Coca Cola instead, how would you do it? Barns: I would think of all the things I like about the flavor of Pepsi and attribute them to Coke. Ogilvy: Good answer. But what if a Coke drinker at another firm did the same for Pepsi? How would you stay ahead of him? Barns: (After thinking) I'd pay someone at the Pepsi plant to put mice into some of their bottles. And I'd see that the scandal was widely publicized. Hart: Isn't he something? Ogilvy: He's more on the ball than half my staff. But what if your rival did the same to Coke with dead rats? (Silence.) Aha! Nice to know I can still teach you something. Poison, Robbie. Nothing fatal. We're not criminals. Just something bitter enough to spoil the flavor and make Pepsi impossible to swallow. Barns: Of course! Poison! But what if they try to poison Coke the same way? Ogilvy: That's when you must beat them to it. Set up a fall guy to poison the Coke and alert the authorities so they can catch him in the act. It'll make Pepsi look so bad no one will want to drink it again. Barns: Wow. I guess that's why you're the big boss. Ogilvy: Don't worry, son. You'll get there one day. Hart: Well, there you have it. Another young visionary is well on his way to an obscenely profitable future. I'd like to thank both my guests, Robbie Barns and Clarence Ogilvy, for being with me today for this enlightening discussion. For Junior Predator, I'm Allan Hart. Voice: This installment of Junior Predator was brought to you by No Name Cola, the brand that saves you money by using boring labels.
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© 2007, 2014. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.