Jerk Alert

It's time for Jerk Alert, the show that lets you bring the jerks to justice. Brian Wakefield is a rooming house tenant who's having a problem with his neighbor, Martin. Martin turns his TV and radio up to full volume in a nearby room and then opens the door to better spread the noise. We paid Martin's barber to slip tiny amplifiers into his ears while the nuisance was looking at his face in the mirror. For legal reasons we couldn't catch the look on Martin's face at home the next time he cranked out his cacophony, but here is a humorous clip of him a few seconds later, running frantically down the street with his hands over his ears to stop the bleeding. Bank teller Monica Sealy thinks it's time a shameless queue jumper, Maxwell Shaft, learned some manners. We kept an eye on Shaft until we had his schedule and with a cashier's check we were able to steer a violent gangster into the bank queue in time for this priceless security tape. (The black and white tape shows Shaft entering the bank, dismissing the queue and going straight to a teller. The gangster sees him, walks up behind him and clubs him to the floor with his pistol. Flat on his back, Shaft is then kicked repeatedly in the groin with the point of a polished leather shoe.) Terri Hill likes most of the people she picks up on her bus route, but a young punk who goes by the street name 'Alec' has been blocking access to the special use seats. We sent an undercover cop with a hidden camera in her stroller to correct his attitude. (A clip shows Alec stretching out to lie down across four seats while faced by the stroller. He looks up with contempt and utters 'Take a hike, Toots!'. In response a taser dart shoots out from the stroller and he rolls out of the way in spasms of pain.)
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© 2007, 2014. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.