As documented on A&E's Biography, there is a Santa Claus. His full name is Saint Nicholas, but most of his followers didn't get it right. Saint Nicholas is a popular saint. He's the one who converted the Greeks and Russians to Christianity in 446. He accomplished this by teaming up with Good King Wenceslas and Saint Patrick. Together the three heroes amassed a fortune in gold, frankincense, and myrrihuana, which they lavished on the poor folk, in order to bribe them into becoming Christian. The tactic worked and the region has been Christian ever since, even when it was communist. Anyone who says there's no Santa, I point to every present they receive from Santa every Christmas as evidence against their claim. Further to that, I would add the volumes of answered letters to the North Pole, the thrilled faces of small children, and the combined sworn testimonies of every Who in Whoville. Nice children have something to look forward to, but naughty children are worried. Santa's dark nemesis, Salt Peter, plans to put rotten potatoes in their Christmas stockings. Just ask the Dutch. Salt Peter is hiding in your chess set right now, mixed in with the black pieces, disguised as a fool. Sometime soon he is expected to spring to life, swell up to enormous size, and go on a parade. Time is running out for the naughty children. |
||||||||||
|
||||||||||
|
||||||||||
© 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved. |
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Yes There Is
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment